Hello friends.
I know that I have been out of pocket of late. I apologize. Normally I’d be talking about holiday plans, writing and character ideas and other fun things, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a bit too down of late to think about the cheerful things. But that is what we should do when we’re feeling depressed, right? Of late, however, I have been finding that very difficult. To put it bluntly, the world has gone mad. Globally, nationally, and personally.
Now, most of you who have followed me have some inkling about my long relationship with Jenna. We have been best friends for 24 years, and she had me write with her after she was first diagnosed with cancer, I believe in 2021. She and I had both always wanted to be writers, and it was part of her bucket list. There was a brief time we thought she wouldn’t make it, and she wanted me there to ensure that her books were completed so that they could be published if she did not happen. Together we came up with the pen name “Kenna Campbell” after a silly skit we had made up many years prior, where we called ourselves, “Super Kenna” which combined both of our first names, and we were the most ridiculous “super heroes” you could imagine. Campbell, while my current last name, had been hers for a while so we went with it. Together, we were part of several anthologies. Our first was “Pounding Bass” we also wrote, “The Book Keeper” which was part of a Jane Austin tribute that raised money for breast cancer research, called “Austin Tea Party”, both which were on the best-selling list, which was a major source of pride and excitement for her, and rightfully so. I also assisted her in writing quite a few other books, such as “The Neverlander” from there “Grim’s Promise” and a story from there “Hexes and Ohs” anthology, as well as a book called “Skin” which was a horror novella. There were others, including her final book that is coming out in there “Ties of Friendship” anthology, called “The Return” as well as the plans for several other book ideas that we have hashed out, one in particular that I have promised her I would get written at some point, and I absolutely intend to do that for her.
Jenna and I met through a local band called “Blue October”. They were big enough to sell out smaller venues, but small enough that the entire crowd became family, and the boys knew all our names. We had this bulletin board we all communicated through, planning meet-ups prior to shows, sharing poetry and artwork, our lives, everything. She had seen me on there, and I had seen her, but we never spoke. One day, I was at a show with my ex, and a girl that I am not fond of, who I’ll just call C, approached me, with Jenna standing shyly behind her in tow. I was very confused as this girl, who again, I very much disliked, introduced me to Jenna. C told me she had wanted to meet me, and, I eyed Jenna with skepticism, curious why she’d want to meet me and what C had told her about me, and I just said, “Hi.” awkwardly and went on with the show. In retrospect, I hate I reacted that way to her. If anyone else had introduced us, I would have been much warmer and open towards her, but I wasn’t. I let my bias towards C get in the way with starting what would become one of the longest and most important friendships of my life much sooner.
Thankfully for me, it wasn’t too much longer before we became instant besties. She had expressed deep sadness on the Blue October board. She had just gone through something very heavy, which I won’t share here as it’s something she would have wanted to keep private, and she was just feeling very alone. I messaged her, asking if she needed someone to talk to, and gave her my number. She called me. We spoke for maybe 5 hours on the phone that evening, and the call went from her sobbing, to laughing and making plans with me for the weekend to go to another concert. We became best friends over that phone call.
At the time she was living with roommates, who were also part of the Blue family, Emma and Johnna, and we all became good friends. They were so much fun to be around. We always laughed and had a great time, no matter what we did. Sadly, they eventually had a falling out, but Jenna landed on her feet and got her own apartment.
We went to concerts together almost every weekend. Blue October, Canvas, Deep Ella, Spoonfed Tribe, Johnny Goudie, Ryan Holle and so many more local musicians, and we built bonds with so many of them, and their own followers. When we were gallivanting across Texas to see all our boys play, we would have sleepovers where we’d stay up late, watch movies and act like full-blown children.
Jenna was a lot of fun. She was whimsical and brought out that side in me as well, which was a big fat, as anyone who knows me knows I can be very reserved in new environments. But she forced me out of my comfort zone. I did things I would never have done on my own thanks to her. She used to say she was a bad influence on me, but I disagree. I think she was a dominant influence. She helped me really live.
She was there with me through lots of hard times, too. When my mother was taken from me unexpectedly at 49. She dropped everything to be there for me. When I went through divorce from my ex-husband, she was there for me. When we lost so many friends from our music circles, and we truly have lost so many, we leaned on one another. When I lost my dad, she couldn’t be with me in person, but she was with me, offering me comfort and support from afar.
And through the good times, encouraging me when I fell in love again. Encouraging me to follow me passion and write.
It wasn’t always great. Her medicines sometimes made her surly, and we had a falling out over it when I felt bombarded at a time that I was going through so many other painful things. We lost a year. To make it worse, that was when her cancer came back. Almost right after our falling out. I tried to reach out to her, but she shut me down. But I kept track of her journey through my husband, who she was still friends with. Eventually, she reached back out to me. Quickly rebuilding what we had lost, we wrote one more book together. I am angry with myself for not pushing through the pain when her meds became too much. I am angry at myself for not making that last call because I was sick, when she told me she missed me and wanted to talk. I pushed it back to that weekend, and by that Friday she had become mostly unresponsive. I was too late.
However, I had a dream awhile back and I feel like it was her way of saying goodbye to me. We were having a sleepover, like we used to... and she said, “Pray how you want to pray; it’s all heard the same way.” Before she laid down and just went to sleep. I feel like she was telling me something very important, a secret that she had been let in on before she was going to leave us. In fact, it’s been sitting with me so much that I plan to use it in my next story. I am making a character after her that is more closely based on who she is as a person than Roux was (Who was loosely based on Jenna.). I’m naming her Jinsok, and she will be a sort of religious leader in my story, which Jenna pursued religious education, and eventually became a Buddhist monk. She also studied psychology. Education and enlightenment were very important to her. So, I feel like this dream was a really profound message from her.
So, while I am heartbroken over the loss of my dear friend, I am eternally grateful that she had led such an interesting and full life in such a short amount of time. She was an enigma in the most magical way. So, thank you, Jenna. For everything. I’ll miss you always.
If you would like to donate to help Jenna move on to her next glorious adventure, you can do so through Kathy Shelton’s Venmo, which I’m including in this post. We decided not to use GoFundMe, as I was having difficulty setting it up, and her mom will need the help much faster than it would take to process it. If anyone would like to check in with Jenna’s mom before donating, you can find her as Marion Carnes Morrison on Facebook.
I’m also including a link to my sweet friend, Katie Jenkin’s, GoFundMe. If you would like to assist her and her family during this difficult time, while her husband heals. Any amount is appreciated, no matter how small. And if you cannot help financially, your love, prayers and thoughts, as well as sharing, are just as powerful.
And here is the link for Katie’s family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/together-for-ben-helping-a-friend-and-father-recover?attribution_id=sl:7eac6904-f4ba-4ad8-a8e3-de51d5162e7d&lang=en_US&utm_campaign=man_ss_icons&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link
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